I am in an empty space 
With a green screen behind me. 
I think that everything that I do is categorized, 
And that would feel like an imposition, 
Except that the categories keep changing.
I ‘m swallowed in a constant state of flux, 
Without reference points. 

Besides, 
The batteries on the $10,000 boat 
I cannot afford
Need a charge, 
and I don’t know how 
to get that done.
It's one of my incapabilities. 

I’ve not been sleeping well 
Nor have I been able 
To wake up well. 

I keep arguing with myself 
which may be the cause. 

I cannot catch a break 
and have too many secrets to remember.
My lost attention may be in one of my pockets, 
but all of them are empty. 

I continue to look for holes.
The mending is endless.
There’s no one I know 
who can help me. 

Though we share English,
No one seems to speak my language, 
And I wonder if I could be Wittgenstein’s lion, 
Disguised as a human. 

Maybe we all are.

I see people walking outdoors. 
One minute it is sunny 
The next it is nightfall -
Their movement either slo mo 
or fast mo, 
going nowhere at variable speeds. 

I don’t want to be disingenuous, 
But I can’t help myself being adrift. 
Adrift without faith, 
yet spiritually unbound.
I take heart in entropy,
Maybe we all do
As a necessity for 
Keeping us alive.

Around 4:00 AM
With some small urgency
Nature calls, 

So I get out of bed,
Thinking that time
Is deteriorating
Slowly.

Oh so slowly, that

It’ll take a billion years
For time to be
Completely wasted.

Obliterated, 
Gone forever,
No longer existing.

But how,
I cannot imagine.

With my business finished
I make my way
In the dark
Back to bed,

Not knowing
How time deteriorates,

Except
with every single death,

Or worse,

In a life
Of wasted time.